If Your Favourite Book Villain Had a Dating Profile
Shaun M Jooste 
Finding love is difficult enough without being an evil overlord, immortal vampire or supernatural monster. But what if some of literature’s greatest villains decided to try online dating?
Imagine the profiles!
Dracula: Looking for a Love That Lasts Forever
Age: It’s complicated.
Interests: Night walks, Gothic castles, red wine and long-term commitments.
Dealbreakers: Garlic enthusiasts, excessive sunlight and anyone carrying wooden stakes.
Dracula isn’t interested in casual relationships. When he says he wants you forever, he really means it!
Voldemort: Seeking Someone Who Understands Me
Age: Prefer not to say.
Interests: World domination, collecting rare objects and avoiding awkward family conversations.
Dealbreakers: Harry Potter, questions about his nose and people who believe love conquers everything.
He might struggle with emotional availability, but at least you’ll never have to worry about him forgetting your name. Unless it’s Tom.
The Wicked Witch: Flying Solo, but Open to Love
Interests: Flying, exotic pets, collecting shoes and home security.
Dealbreakers: Water fights, unexpected house deliveries and excessively cheerful visitors.
She’s looking for someone who appreciates her independence and doesn’t mind the occasional flying monkey.
Would You Swipe Right?
Perhaps villains aren’t entirely hopeless romantics. They simply need someone who appreciates their unusual hobbies, questionable life choices and occasionally catastrophic tempers.
At Celenic Earth Publications, we love unforgettable characters, whether they’re heroes, villains or something deliciously in between.
Which fictional villain would you swipe right for?
